The aftermath of the whole episode is taking its toll on mi. No mood, no motivation in anything. When i see my frens mugging hard, how i wished i would be motivated to be like them too. It is like seeing myself being different from this fast moving and stressful environment, with mi crawling at a slow snail pace. Its like being sucked in a vortex of darkness with cold walls. How i wish someone willl hold mi with warm hands and perhaps take me to the end of the world, residing in a pleasant place. And maybe i will miss the hectic life i used to have here cause its been a part of mi ever since i was born.
I know clearly nothing like tat will happen. Everything thats beautiful is just a naive dream. Do you know how important it is to touch the hearts of your friends out there? People will feel lost and aimless at times, the desperation and anxiety is really scary and in some cases are fatal.
I am diverting my attention to mundane stuff like cleaning my desk, mopping the floor, scrubbing the toilet, spending a considerable lot of money buying clothes online and going for night walks. By doing these made mi feel better, as i am able to see my efforts are being returned.
