Looking at him browsing pictures,cards of me and my ex bf is the last thing i would ever wish to happen in my entire life. I wished i had dropped dead at the moment. My heart and mind froze. Not because of those photos. But the pain and upset in his eyes. It had been the longest 15 mins or so in my life, as i stood there watching him browsing at the material.
So many thoughts running in my mind...

"God damn, We are happy together and why these materials surface at this time?!"
"Omg. Why its still in that bloody hell drawer of mine? Room so bloody messy, why am i so lazy to pack my stuff ,these are ought to be in the bin!"

"God. u got to be kidding me."
"This is just a nightmare. Someone wake me up pls."

God damn shit. I feel like grabbing and toss them off the window for good. But no, if i do that, it means i am afraid of him finding it out.

I am in a shitty situation, where i cant do anything but only watching him intently.

And so..i am cursing silently to myself and with my eyes fixed on him, and urging him to put down everything. After a long time (to me it seems very long), he looked up at me,smile weakly and tried to act nothing has happened.

I can feel the pain and sorrow in his eyes.

He took out a piece of yellow neon colour paper from the envelope and starting folding. He is distracting himself , so he doesnt need to face me. All the while, i was telling him...

"Lets go for a walk downstairs?"

" hmm..shall we buy a drink downstairs together?"

"Lets go buy some stuff and take a night walk!"

He only nodded and said "mm.." each time.

He folded a yellow neon paper crane,put on my hand and said,

" Its late. I am going home! Shall we? "
And so... we headed downstairs.

I tried to make a conversation with him, but he remain rather silent.

I took the pack of materials,tipped the envelope and poured its contents into the rubbish bin.
He only said to me.." u dont have to do that" and walk ahead.

He keep saying he wanted to go home and look at the skies.

Until then......, i saw tears rolling down his cheeks.
My heart shattered.

I had hurt him so much...

The night ended ... ... ... ...

where i hugged him closely to my heart and told him,

"I love you and only you..."

I had placed the yellow neon paper crane beside the bottle of stars

he made for me on my valentine's day.
The crane will make me rem that i hurt him once,deeply.

** ** ** ** **

For the last few months, I had been really confident and proud that i had put my past relationship down. The materials were left uncleared as i didnt really touched my drawers, cupboards and i didnt even bother about the prescence or absence of these materials(that explains my mess in the room). I am happy that i had chucked those photos and cards into the bin that were about my past, as that does not contribute to anything anymore.

*********************************

With my darling tc now,i am really contented and happy with my life. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. And with that,we have so many future plans ahead, planning our careers together, support each other, accomodating each other, learn from each other's flaws and lastly building and saving for our love nest.

Why?

Coz i love him wholeheartedly... Cross my heart.

I had been missing quite sometime... and that explains the load of pictures i have to upload!haha!So i came up with different parts. Pictures were kinda mix up. But i am doing my very best to group there. Haha!

Darling keep ask me to update my blog with our photos. dun know why. Haha! Guess he wanted to keep filing up the memories and photos - which is good!

You'll see....
5 years later~~~ while looking at these photos and memories which were filed up..

I would start ranting..

ME: Hey!! that time u bring me to this place lor! How come u nv bring me there now!

ME: See!! u that time so romantic, give me flowers and teddy bear!! I wan diamond now!!

ME: eh...eee y u that time so handsome...!! But look like old man now.

ME: Hey!! We look like Cinderella and prince that time! Now we more like beauty and the beast!

so on and forth....haha!

Alright..so i present to u..the pictures! In no particular order....

PART 1

See what i mean? I so cute..yet his's machiam some.

i dun even know wad kind of beast. *shrugs*

Attk of the beast-like expression again.

This beast got problems with the nose.

HAHAHAHAHHAHA

Me: I'm energetic as ever!! Woo!!

with my boy! My one and only darling!

We woke up quite early ..around 8? then sleep back and waking up a few moments later..and then..its 10 already. I had been looking forward to this outing. (hee) Was wondering wad he had planned for this day...

It was a simple yet sweet outing. Though we spent quite a few days each week together,but i guess we were too busy playing games and doing other stuff at times that we really missed out talking to each other.

We stopped at douby and decided to walk down Orchard to get his favourite chicken skin and pork. Its super unhealthy can! (I think i said it everytime he eats it.) But i thought its a gentle reminder that its really not healthy and therefore should not eat so much though its really quite nice. Initially i like only chicken balls and perhaps chicken, but under his influence, i like the pork! so nice!

During the walk down Orchard, we talk non-stop about the things happening around us. After that we intended to go Hort Park, but in the end we stopped at vivo and chill out at the sky park there. Ambience is nice with the cooling breeze.

We soaked our feet in the waters,chat, laze around and do some exploring. He keeps throwing my slipper into the pond. -__-

Shortly after that.., we went for dinner @ at a steamboat restaurant! Food was relatively affordable and nice. But guess we still prefer our usual steamboat place - shabu shabu @ katong. Hehe.

And here are the pictures..taken!

Darling with the money punching gloves. So cute.

Some scenery....


We were leaning against the railing and we saw this tram coming towards us from Sentosa.
We thought of a outing together at Sentosa soon. yay! ^.^

So cute




Dun ask me why i stick out my tongue for. LOL.

I want to graduate as soon as possible!

To acheive that... i have to study hard!

Jia You ba!